Missing In Action...  I can't seem to recall a particular time in my life when I'd been stricken by so many "Sick Bugs".  Since Christmas, my immune system has taken a beating.  I'm not sure the exact reasoning for the consecutive ailments other than the fact that this year's flu epidemic is attracted to me.  I honestly have not felt like doing much of anything.  Training, riding and Journalizing have taken a back seat to toilet paper, cough drops and sleep.  I admit my enthusiasm is low right now. I seek to remedy my sickness and ready myself for the warmer months.  I look forward to long bike rides in the sun, warm afternoons on the lake and beads of sweat burning my eye's as I push through another repetition in the gym.  I feel as though the worst of this bug is behind me; I literally don't have anymore mucus to blow from my red nose.  As my energy increases, so will my activities, thus producing inspired material for my journals.  I thank everyone for your patience with my writing; I will soon be back in top form.  ~Aaron

Like flipping a light switch, in a flash life can change...dramatically!  These past few weeks have been full of changing thoughts and circumstances for me.  For one, two of the motocross industries finest athletes suffered career ending cervical injuries, one of whom "Ernesto Fonseca" is an old friend of mine.  Both rider's are hospitalized here in Southern California and will hopefully engage in a rigorous rehabilitation program as soon as possible. 

As I drove down the busy (I-5) freeway today, I recalled the day my world stopped rotating; the day I broke my neck.  In the blink of my eye, everything changed.  I feel tremendous sorrow for my fellow racers whom have recently suffered this painful change, but I also feel a sense of connectedness.  In the coming days I hope to somehow help my friends and their families on their road to recovery.  My own road is that of less travel, and one I graciously walk.  I am currently purposely provoking change within my program to continue progress.  I look forward to sharing new and exciting experiences here in my journal.  Thank you for your patience with my recent writers block. ~Be well

For info on Ernesto Fonseca- www.ernestofonseca.com

For info on James Marshell- www.helpjames.org

What a day...Hopeful intentions turned to irrational decisions.  This day began with a mid morning appointment with Taylor.  While Taylor stretched my lower extremities I discussed the necessity for change within my daily regime, touching on all aspects of my training program and landing on the most important part... MIND.  Throughout my recovery process I have always brought an unwavering motivation toward rehabilitation, knowing my short term suffering would lead to my long term benefit as an independent man.  It is faith in myself and those around me that has carried me through hard times, and now, today I am refocusing on this very faith.  I seemed to have blurred my vision on what has brought me this far, becoming all consumed by thoughts of doubt because of circumstance.  Tired and frustrated I readied packed bags for an unscheduled solo departure from town, thinking a quick getta way would help me find myself, knowing deep down it was no solution.  I sat down with Toot's before leaving and talked about my evolving frustrations.  Between her words of wisdom and a phone call from my girlfriend my decision was solidified... my bags never made it to the car.  I believe in what I do, I believe in the people around me and it is Hope and Faith that overpower inevitable negative times.  The circle of life would not be complete without these lessons of perseverance and I am tremendously grateful for my teachers and this awareness...

Perfection, what is perfection?  Is it a fictional vision within of how or what we are supposed to be or do or look like.  I suppose this imaginary image is valid, but derived from the external influence of today's society and the image projected as perfect.  Tonight I was reminded by my dear friend Joshua Hendrickson who often speaks great wisdom, that I am already perfect in every way... we all are.  He also spoke of my intense personality and how sometimes having such a desire to reach goals that it can ultimately be detrimental by never feeling satisfied, always wanting more.  I respect Josh's words and agree with him.  I do however, live a fine line between perfection and egoless awareness, both of which are on opposite poles.  I strive for excellence, rejoicing when satisfied, and suffer self loss when personal expectation is not met.  The dark side of perfection is the manifestation of imagination, leading to an unobtainable projection.  Rest easy in faith, because all is innately perfect in all its perfection.

"A course of action one intends to follow".  In the early days of my recovery I would visualize my intentions, purposefully projecting images in my mind of a full recovery, maintaining a steadfast positive outlook on what's important. at least until my 1 year anniversary.  There was no room in my mind for empty questions doctors, friends or family could not answer. The fact is if a recovery is meant to be, then it is up to me.and my support group who provide the opportunity.  Now don't get me wrong, I was not a smiling chipper person all the time, in fact allot of my anger and frustration was focused toward my rehab and provided some serious gut wrenching fuel for workouts that would literally leave my ears ringing, my vision blurred and on the verge of passing out. and still does!  I speak about this focus intention and the initial pieces of the recovery puzzle because I know my friend Ernesto will be embarking on his own teeth grinding rehabilitation soon.  I hope he kicks this injuries ass!!!  Physically - recovery is tough.  Emotionally - it's a wild ride.  Mentally - can make and break you with a single thought! 

Its one thing for me to set off on a road trip with a friend or to stay somewhere other than the familiar comforts of home.  And it's another to stay at home alone.  This morning I dropped Toot's off at the Burbank airport where she flew to Phoenix Arizona for the weekend.  This means I have the house to myself and must take on responsibilities like laundry, meals, garbage, watering plants and feeding the cat.  This is where my rehab shines; all of the various tasks require my concentration and synchronicity of movement.  I enjoy the feeling of independence I have while doing my laundry or eating a home cooked meal I prepared.  Right now the house is quiet and my mind is still, knowing that all the doors are locked, the lights turned off and my belly is full of lasagna and pie. 

The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step...  Or as in today's case, the last 1/8th of a mile at the 2006 L.A. Marathon began with allot of blood, sweat and tears.  Powerful!  A word that understates today's achievements.  I am excited to have joined the 25,000+ participants in the L.A. Marathon today, but more importantly, honored to walk along side a select few individuals for who are overcoming great adversity.  Eight incredible people, including myself (all suffering different level SCI) took independent steps towards the finish line.  This amazing feat was spearheaded by clinical exercise physiologist "Taylor Isaacs" (head clinician) and SCI marathon participant "Marc Richards".  On the course the energy in the air was electric, the focus in the eyes of my peers was intense, and the sense of achievement at the finishing line...unmatched.  To be apart of something so special is difficult to describe.  Though each of us celebrated individual triumphs, it was the collective Tour De Force that made today so spectacular, pushing each other to greater heights, supporting and inspiring with each step.  This day is a little piece of history, marked by heroic efforts, and sealed with iron will.

Yesterday was training as usual, but today was quite the contrary.  I met up with my buddy Aaron Cromer and attended an unusual fundraising event held for recently injured motocross racer James Marshall.  The "Ride Day" was hosted in San Bernardino at the infamous Glen Helen motocross park where a handful of today's top professional racers and freestyle riders rode handle bar to handle bar with anyone who donated $20 to the cause.  My pal Ricky James (paraplegic) made an appearance with his custom built dirt bike which is equipped with a special seat and foot pegs that allow him to ride without slipping off.  He rode a few laps around the rain soaked track with the rest of the riders, having fun for a good cause.  To see the motocross community come together in this time of need is special.  There have been many devastating spinal cord injuries within our sport the last few years and it seems my fellow racers are beginning to open their blind eye to fallen riders and are more willing to support their road to recovery.  "I wish you my best James, may you Rise Above your adversity with strength and honor".  ~AB

Today I teamed up with my bud Derek Langahr at the gym.  We worked together under Taylor's instruction mimicking each others movements from a supine lying position.  An upper body and core routine using dumbbells was the protocol.  Usually Toot's is my training partner; however the nasty flu bug that plagued me for so long finally and unfortunately bit her.  Working together with a partner in the gym is in my opinion the way to go.   After our workout Derek and I cruised to my house where I posed as a barber and gave Derek a hair cut.  A Mohawk to be exact!  He wanted the new dew for an interview this weekend, so I used my special Mohawk method...  "Duck tape".  A single strip of tape right down the center of the head and a sharp buzzer does the job.  Now it's my turn!  I think I'll run the hawk again... for a little while ;)

Totally cool!!!  I am extremely excited about the collective voices section of this website.  To have my friends write and share their stories of adversity and achievements brings me great joy, knowing, collectively our stories are helping others.  I sincerely invite anyone who wishes to share their thoughts about themselves, a friend, or family member (stories are not limited to spinal cord injury).  This section is an opportunity for us to work together, something I believe in with all my heart.  Please feel free to contact me... go to the "Contact" section for my info. 

Out and about...  I've been on the go since Friday where I started off by prospecting a young skateboard friend "Dillon" for potential sponsorship from Focus clothing.  I brought he and Stephanie with me out to the Piru motocross track where we spectated from the fence while my Focus partner Matt Armstrong rode practice laps.  I then attended to some graphic design ideas at the office in Moorpark, while Dillon skateboarded on the skate ramp in the back of the warehouse...I did a little (Matt assisted skating) myself when the work was done.  Saturday afternoon was spent with my pal Chris Ackerman.  Chris is an amazing man, rising above the most extreme of conditions (C-2 Quadriplegia) to speak and share words of friendship, love and wisdom, inspiring not only me, but all who are so lucky to grace his presence.  I enjoyed the evening in Seal Beach where we were entertained at a local sushi spot with live music and seated in unique lounge style booths with purple velvet couches instead of chairs...Fun!  Our alarm sounded at 7:45 this morning waking my pal Derek, his girlfriend Kelly, Stephanie and I for an early morning gathering at the beach in Huntington.  "They Will Surf Again" is a program where able-body people volunteer to assist special populations out of their wheelchairs into the sea and onto surfboards to ride the waves.  The "Life Rolls On" Foundation is associated with TWSA and helps draw volunteers for the event.  I reluctantly declined the invitation to surf today, much to the dismay of my pals.  Yes, I was labeled "chicken" but at least I wasn't the one with a blue face, freezing my butt off in 51 degree water!  Heck, it was overcast, breezy and cold... not my cup of tea, if you know what I mean.  In all, my weekend was fun, covering allot of ground, spending quality time with quality people.

Today an Australian 60 Minutes journalist and film crew were at the gym interviewing my friend Derek Langahr while we trained.  The show is focusing on the hot topic of Stem Cell research and OEG cell transplants.  One year ago Derek traveled to China to receive the OEG cell surgery performed by Doctor Hwong.  Derek has experienced a tremendous return of function below his level of injury since having the procedure.  Derek was a prime candidate for this surgery because of his age (20), level of injury (mid thorasic), time of injury (1 year post) and incomplete potential.  I am excited to see stories like Derek's exposed, sharing possibilities and hope for what's to come.  Let's keep our fingers crossed with regards to scientific research; a cure is around the corner.  My thoughts are to keep myself in top physical form, reducing secondary complications, increasing self efficacy and preparing for a possible 100% cure. Surgery alone won't do the trick...work hard!  Kick ass Derek!

For the last 6 1/2 years I have driven myself towards an end result...Recovery.  Overcoming my SCI was my motivation and to a extent still is.  Now though, I am beginning to redefine my "recovery" and the process there in.  In May it will be 7 years post injury; 7 long, hard years of consistent, dedicated, long-term exercise with very little peripheral vision.  I am proud of the work that has been done, and walk graciously beside those who have supported me in the process.  I am not changing my attitude towards my health and wellness; I am merely seeing and feeling a much broader understanding of the term recovery.  I like to set large ambitious goals for myself, but in doing so I set in motion a chain reaction of mental suffering; never feeling satisfied.  Narrow vision is needed; like a professional athlete training for Sundays race or game...nothing else matters to him except that day!  I have applied this tactic since the day I crashed; nothing else mattered to me except rising above my adversity. I have experienced a tremendous return of function and ability in doing so, overcoming many physical obstacles and achieving many goals.  However, when feats like riding the L.A. Marathon on a tandem bike in 1:23 become just another day and provides no real sense of satisfaction, I start to realize I have a problem.  When my head is down and mind focused, I always want MORE!  There's nothing wrong with striving for excellence, I will probably always work this way... it's a good thing!  But what I am realizing is that my narrow vision is obstructing the larger picture, I have been defining myself by my goals and not by just "Being".  Being happy with myself, satisfied with my efforts, embracing those around me and living right here, right now, in this moment.  I still work towards my visions and always will; I am simply allowing my heart to hold the wheel while my mind mashes the gas, embracing all aspects of life as I speed slowly down my path...

Currently, I am working with Taylor 3 days a week, focusing primarily on existing muscular adhesions (knots) in my upper back and neck which limit my flexibility and range of motion.  He defacilitates the muscles prior to my strength training routine.  The deep tissue defacilitation Taylor performs is just shy of being tortured; hot penetrating muscle ointment, freezing cubes of raw ice and thumb pressure like hammered wooden spikes splintering into my skin.  The delayed results speak for themselves; I have less pain and more movement, exactly the predicted outcome.  After my (literally) muscle numbing session with Taylor I worked out my lower extremities and performed a uni lateral upper body protocol emphasizing my right side only letting my left upper back and neck rest.  While transferring to and from different workout stations I happened upon Taylor and Marc Richards (organizer and participant of this years L.A. Marathon) working together.  We spoke briefly about the success of this year's walk and the impact it had on all of Taylor's clients and their families.  There was also an article written in the Santa Clarita news paper about the group of us that crossed the finish line without our chairs and many amazing photographs that tell much more of what took place that afternoon in the streets of down town L.A.  I admire Marc and his work ethic and commend him on a job well done.

Stationary bike testing day... I was not prepared to ride any type of elliptical machine today, wearing tight black jeans and low profile vans shoes.  I did however agree to join Derek as he tested his pedaling abilities on three different stationary spinners.  We began by slowly pedaling the recumbent bike analyzing the foot position and reclined back support.  We then progressed to the upright stationary cycle, where I voiced my dislike for the machine because of its saddle width and crank feel.  My personal favorite is the stationary spinner made by schwinn.  The ergonomic layout of the machine is consistent with that of a real road bike and the heavy flywheel helps maintain steady pedal cadence.  I do switch my cardio workouts with different pedaling machines to avoid adaptations and today really emphasized the dramatic difference between these machines.

Behind the wheel of any type vehicle is a place I like to be.  On a day that is usually tainted by practical jokes, (April Fools) Toot's and I laughed as we took turns behind the wheel, test driving new cars.  Hopping from one vehicle to the next we avoided most of the day's ill hearted pranks, until the phone rang.  Both Toot's and I received less than enjoyable phone calls which at first thought were disturbing; only to later learn of the intended humor behind them, "Not Funny!"  With the jokes behind us and decisions to be made about a car, we closed the day with a Mexican meal and good conversation.  Sunday, I found myself back behind the wheel of the race carts at Pole Position raceway.  Me and a small group of friends car pooled down to the track for some healthy competition.  Once again, with my right hand firmly taped to the steering wheel I set fast lap.  The only part of my body that really gets fatigued when driving are my cheeks!  My ear to ear grin eventually begins to tire. Maybe a more rigorous workout routine of smiling will help with muscular fatigue...ha-ha!  Honestly though, I was a bit sore Monday from the intense wheel work over the weekend so Taylor defacilitated the affected areas before I began my training.  Toots and I were later treated to an evening at the Burk Williams spa in Pasadena where massage, steam rooms, and saunas soothed our achy joints and muscles.  Today I worked the keyboard on my computer until my fingers cramped and eyes crossed, completing projects in order of importance leaving aaronbakers.com to my free time...now, 11:36pm.  Well, my day is done, I'm off to sleep.